Restricted: WHY it is GOOD to have UNRESTRICTED Conversations with those UNDER 19...

When someone turns 19… it’s when…

… a young person can vote (18 in Canada),

… a young person graduates high school (18 in Canada),

… a young person can buy cigarettes,

… its when you can watch restricted movies…

… its when a young person can do whatever they want.

But why do we wait to have RESTRICTED conversations with young people about INTIMACY, RELATIONSHIPS, and SEXUALITY?

Restricted means having “limited amount of information or access…” Unfortunately, I think too many restrictions are on the conversations of sexuality. Family life in schools share about the mechanics of sex, parents talk (at limits) about the birds and bees with their children, and GOOGLE usually points to pornography when kids type in a question about sexuality, relationships, and/or intimacy…

So… in light to the conversation, I think we need to have an unrestricted conversation about the physical, emotional, and relational realities of sexuality.*

Physically, it’s important to know that condoms don’t protect from ALL viruses, diseases, and/or bacterial infections. In fact, the only way someone can be 100% protected is to remain absent till marriage. Also, when someone engages in sexual activity (defined by any contact with the genitalia) can become infected. This can cause further complications to pregnancy and fertility in adult years WHEN people want to have kids.

Pregnancy has never been meant to be a consequence. If a teenager decides to keep her baby, her social status will drop 2 classes; and finishing high school, an undergraduate degree, and pursuing a career becomes more difficult. If a teenager decides to aborts, there are many side effects physically (as well as relationally and emotionally) that a teenager experiences. If a teenager puts her baby up for adoption, there can be separation anxiety issues linking to depression and anxiety.  

Emotionally, there are MANY social sciences about sexuality. For example:

·      80% of women are MORE sexually satisfied when they are in a long term, committed, and monogamous relationship, AND men experience a healthier lifestyle, make more money, and live longer,

·      2/3 of people are more likely to cheat on the one they love when they have been sexually active before the age of 16,

·      70% of women who perform in pornographic films have experienced some sort of sexual abuse in their formative years,

·      Extreme cases of sexually addiction have indicated that pornographic films and/or fantasies are more satisfying than their partner,

·      Girls are 10x MORE likely to have a STD or infection when parents give birth control to their kids,

·      The number one reason for poverty (in NA) is single parent homes,

·      1 in 5 teens have HPV (most common virus) and is the major cause for cervical cancer, pregnancy issues, and relational issues.

·      Over 80% of young women have linked depression, suicide, and anxiety to their abortion,

·      Those who have the BEST sex in their life is in the context of marriage (a $5million US study at the University of Boston).

·      EVERY 24 hrs, 12,000 students in the US will have a sexual transmitted disease/virus,

·      IN 1950, there were only 5 known transmitted sexual diseases. In 2000, there are 30.

·      30% of all sexually transmitted diseases are incurable.

Relationally, culture believes sex is love and love is sex. Unfortunately, anyone who has had multiple partners would agree that sex isn’t love. Disappointment, numbness, and bitterness become the reality for culturally accepted relationships. Ultimately, sex is an expression of love to someone for life. Culture is great at becoming NAKED sexually, but doesn’t understand what it means to be NAKED emotionally and/or relationally with someone in the context of intimacy.

Furthermore, sex is designed (and has been scientifically proven) is best suited between a man and a woman committed for life.

In any case, we NEED to have MORE unrestricted (rather than restricted) conversations with those who are UNDER 19…

What do you think…

*data on promiscuity

*Pam Stenzel

*Mark Gungor