When YOU have been Robbed in Relationships

How do you regain trust when it has been broken?

Most psychologists say it takes ten positive actions to regain trust from ONLY one negative action.

Lately, I have had worked with a few people - who I come alongside with - that have experienced too many negatives in relationships than positives. In other words, they feel ROBBED in relationships. Consenquently, it has bred mistrust, self-centeredness, and shallowness in their relationships. There is no trust.

YET, without trust you cannot have healthy relationships. Trust is the currency in relatonships.

Let me put it this way… building – and regaining trust – is a lot like a poker game. You win chips and you lose chips. In the same way you gain trust and loose trust… and like ANY poker game it is a lot faster to loose trust than gain it.

So, my question is how you regain trust in relationships. How do we help people who have experienced MORE negatives than positives in relationships? Here are 5 thoughts:

  1. Be intentional – vulnerability and honesty are very important to regain trust. With that said it takes intentionality to regain trust if it has been broken. It is not easy to do and therefore intentionality is needed.
  2. Be sorry – the ability to know that you have been wrong and willing to change
  3. Forgive – the ability to forgive others. Forgiveness STARTS the process of trust but does not mean it will build trust.
  4. Make your Yes your Yes and your No your No – Jesus said this… and it is so true when it comes to regaining trust. You cannot gain trust if your words and actions are incongruent. There has to be  alignment to words and actions or trust cannot be established
  5. Take responsibility – the journey is MORE important than the destination. It takes work, time, and intentionality to regain trust. It is important to take responsibility for YOU and make the effort to regain trust.

Regaining trust is not easy but necessary if you want healthy, meaningful, and life-long relationship.

What are your thoughts?